A strange one to blog; this is more a feeling than a recap of recent adventures. Tonight brings with it the beginning of the end chapter in Cardiff as I told my flatmates I was leaving 'probably within the next 10 days'. I am not seeking another tenancy in Cardiff. This is most likely the end of me living in Wales in this lifetime.
I feel sad. But thankfully it's a positive sorrow brought about by a largely positive experience; a wistful longing for the really great, poignant moments I've had here, and a feeling of loss for my good friends that I will no longer be able to see on a daily basis. Tinged with this is a sorrow born of angst; a niggle in my brain that my friends will forget me once I move on, or more upsetting still, the half-thought that perhaps they never truly knew me in the first place. A worry, either way that I will not have left enough of an impression upon them, for us to ever meet up again - to have accomplished nothing with their friendship more than to be a part of their recent past than their continuing present and future. This is a worry born from no more basis than the fragility of my own character and the value I place on the individuals I know means I insist I keep them close to me inspite of geographic distance. I am wise enough, having 'moved on' many times personally, to know that these feelings will pass and are not to be dwelt upon. They deserve to be acknowledged, and now I have I can look to the future and bring my friends along with me in the adventures soon to unfold.
I have progressed with my hunt for a job in London and Monday saw me train-ride back to Cardiff after a telephone interview with Millward Brown. The strangest rush of nerves hit me during that interview and I am convinced that I did not give a true account of my ability to communicate. Nevertheless, I wait in anticipation of the email today that will tell me if I progress to the final interview. If not, I attended a 6 hour seminar on 'marketing your CV effectively' as a professional yesterday. 4 hours were dull and uniformative but 2 were sensational in that they opened my eyes to the industry rather than service of recruitment. 3/4s of jobs are never advertised. 95% of job searches by recruiters are for CVs posted within the last 7 days. 90% of jobs are filled with an online search only. These sorts of facts, and the techniques I learnt convince me of two things; (i) employing them (pun intended) will stand me in great stead for getting a job (ii) if I can find a way to present this information to the market appealingly, I can definately make some money from the information I have.
Other relevant items in my everyday life are: I met Aled on Monday night after years of not seeing each other. It was brilliant to see how comfortably we sank back into our friendship as though no time had passed since we graduated all those 3 years ago. One pint quickly led to 4 and there were some strong parallels with our recent experiences with Aled having been out of employment for 8 months post his managerial role in PrimeCare last year; largely because he could, and also because a job is tough to get. It's strange that he's ended up taking a backward leap to man phones at Lloyds TSB but the job holds options to work his way up and he likes the prestige of a bank. The strangest aspect of this is how similar he sounded to Lissa in his aim to progress up the financial ladder. Meeting Aled gave me some strength as I always believe people I don't see are sprinting past me in the progress of their lives and this illusion somewhat stallwarts my own progress as I belittle my endeavours. Its was comforting to see Aled as stoical as ever, and I must admit I was a little happy to meet someone who was honest enough to admit to being envious of both my PropBox business and my travels. It made me feel my personal actions were not immature, insignificant detours off the path of grown-up life. Meeting Aled was just like old times, with my conversational flamboyance counteracted by his blunter banter. I'd like our meeting up not to be an annual event or worse and shall try to keep in touch more hereon.
Also:
I have struck up an email-friendship with Sara, my 16 yr old niece as a result of my birthday card to Yvonne. I think I have 'convinced' Dad to come to the Bar Mitzvah now he knows Naomi and I shall attend.
I recieved a beatuifully penned postcard from Lizzie (from Stockholm) from her time in New York - I am very pleased to at least have been on her mind during travels :)
And finally
Today is the day Phil is due to/could become a Dr. I wish him the very best of luck today in his Viver and look forward to seeing him this afternoon to know the result. Good luck Phil. I know you deserve it. :D
Oh, and thank you Cardiff. I may be ready to move on, but by and large you have been good to me. Thank you for being my host for the last 6 years :) x x x
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